Sunday, January 21, 2007

Shockwave (AKA A.I. Assault)

shockwave
The Details:
Directed by: Jim Wynorski
Runtime: 94 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: USA:R

The Review:
I'm not going to bring the incredibly prolific 20-year history of director Jim Wynorski into the discussion, I'm simply going to address the movie as it stands (which is the way it aughta be as far as I'm concerned). That's what B-movies are all about; disregarding well-known actors, directors, and this thing they do in movies sometimes called "acting".

Let's jump right in, brain first. Shockwave, or it's more appropriate title of A.I. Assault, is a sci-fi geek's dream upon initial inspection. It co-stars major characters from 3 different generations of the Start Trek universe, as well as Bill freakin Mumy! The setup that takes place within about 13 minutes is; robot loose on deserted island --> plane carrying another genius military robot crashes on the same Deserted Robot Island™ --> random bank robbers are forced to land their failing chopper on --> you guessed it, Secret, Indestructible Deserted Robot Island™ --> send in the marines! --> and bingo-bongo, we got 30-foot squid-mechs running around murdering people we don't care about (but with a hidden agenda.) Now when I say "murdering", I'm actually referring to crap-job CG dummies being thrown through the air swiftly enough to avoid detection by the human eye. In fact, aside from two very fun decapitations towards the beginning of the movie, and an explosive end to one marine, there really isn't anything here for you gore-lovers.


Cheese factor: In one of the very few laugh-out-loud moments of Crazy Secret Indestructible Robot Island Bank Robbers and Marines: The Movie™, a character is thrown more than 40 feet and lands on a gigantic styrofoam rock, which, naturally, shimmies and shakes like so much... non... rock... material. Sadly, I can count the number of similar wonderfully lame moments using one hand.

The effects are plausible, except for the fact that the production company forgot what the words "motion blur" mean. Beyond the opening scene, which I'm convinced was filmed after initial production had wrapped as a means to hook the viewer (with a plastic robot claw) and drag them through the sludge that would become the next hour and a half, the effects take a considerable drop. But, I have to admit that the audio is well handled for the most part, utilizing several cheap-o sci-fi laser sounds, and the musical score couldn't B any more... B. I haven't heard synth blaze this heroically since The Terminator!

The cinematography isn't too bad and the editing isn't noticeable, which is a compliment. The transitions from scene to scene, however, are like Star Wars wipes on crack. You never know when, where, or how quickly they're gonna come at you. But you do know one thing, they will be accompanied with THIS early 90s cd-rom video game sound effect. Apparently this is the "shockwave" part of the movie? Because there sure as hell isn't a single reference to the word anywhere else.

Shockwave is typical of what you see when you peruse the aisles of your local video chain these days. The advent and ease of computer graphics can create a stunning cover for nearly any movie, and it can draw you in with the promise of loads of visual goodies. I will admittedly admit that it captured my imagination instantly. The actual movie, however, is so incredibly BLAH that one can neither hate it, nor love it. Although there are hints of B-movie hilarity here and there, it suffers from the common B-movie okay-ism. The dialogue isn't good, but it certainly isn't horrid and laughable. The plot has one or two preposterous moments, but it's nothing to giggle consistently at. And, everyone on the screen has clearly been acting for more than 3 days. These are the reasons why Shockwave truly deserves a mediocre score on any review site, even this one.

(Did you like that 'admittedly admit'? I thought you might.)





SOUND EFFECTS: Various vintage Boops and Beeps.
EXPENDABLE CHARACTERS:
Die faster than you can say " "
"CRAZY ROBOTS?":
"not crazy, very very smart."

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